And then there were eight. Thus begins the Elate Eight and the mad dash towards the Lent Madness 2024 Golden Halo. The remaining saints in our little competition are Albert Schweitzer, Cornelius the Centurion, Henry Whipple (who yesterday defeated Clare of Assisi 57% to 43%), Canaire, Joseph of Arimathea, Julian of Norwich, Ambrose of Milan, and Andrew the Fisherman. But in the end, only one will prevail.
After basic biographies and quirks and quotes, we now move into the realm of saintly kitsch. Some people, known as Kitsch Kranks, are unable to enjoy the humor of this round. But for the rest of you, enjoy a whimsical romp into the various ways our saints are honored. Or just hold your breath and click on the links below to view the writeups from the previous rounds, and we’ll see you for the Faithful Four.
We kick things off with Albert Schweitzer taking on Cornelius the Centurion in a battle of the ancient and modern. To get to this point, Albert bested Henry Mühlenberg and Thomas the Apostle, while Cornelius made it past Piran of Cornwell and Adomnan of Iona.
If you missed yesterday's Elate Eight edition of Monday Madness, do penance. And then watch it here as Tim and Scott share the Greatest Commandments of Lent Madness.
Vote now!
Cornelius the Centurion
Cornelius was a centurion in the Roman army who was part of God’s revelation to Peter that, yes, actually, the Kingdom of Heaven is like a sheet that includes all manner of humans, no matter how quirky, weird, and kitschy. You, too, can have your nightly reminder that you are part of that diverse community of God’s beloved with your very own Cornelius the Centurion Duvet Cover.
After rising from a restful sleep, you can channel your inner Roman soldier by wearing this Roman centurion costume on Easter Day, when a portion of Acts 10 is read. Complete with a helmet, your Roman Easter bonnet will be a stunning addition to all the Easter finery.
For those Cornelius devotees who want a more elegant way to honor their favorite faithful centurion, this bobblehead statue is the perfect option. Cornelius wears typical centurion clothing of the time (as far as we know) and stands ready to bobble to you each day as you prepare to live your life as a faithful Christian.
What? The statue still doesn’t fit your idea of something to honor this faithful servant of Jesus? Well, let this elegant centurion lighter light your fire of faith. Perfect for lighting your devotional candles or the charcoal for the incense to add ambience and a certain holiness for prayer vigils.
For those who need a softer, more tender Cornelius to cuddle with for comfort in times of stress, Centurion Teddy is ready and waiting for your snuggles. Cornelius’s faith, though strong, had a softer side, willing to bow at Peter’s feet in honor of this disciple of Jesus.
And finally, we pay homage the only Episcopal Church in active use named for St. Cornelius in Dodge City. Yep, that Dodge City where Miss Kitty, Marshall Dillon, Festus, and the Gunsmoke gang had all sorts of adventures. It’s the only original Church still in use on Dodge City’s Gospel Hill that, as noted by a resident of Dodge City in the 1890’s, overlooked all manner of debauchery on Front Street. You can stop by, worship, and enjoy some excellent hospitality in the true model of their patron saint.
Albert Schweitzer
The Lent Madness Faithful have spoken. Things DO NOT HAPPEN FOR A REASON (unless you are playing a board game that is, and that’s usually because you didn’t roll good dice—however, no more board gaming, it’s time for some serious kitsch). Albert only advances if you VOTE for this awesome stuff that can only be found courtesy of Google. In order to be like Albert, you need to pray like Albert and that includes praying for animals too.
To be like Albert, you need to Quest for Jesus. If you aren’t sure where to start, you can play a real life quest game in the “Life of Christ” (I know you said no more board games, but I couldn’t resist).
Also, it wouldn’t be fair to expand your depth of faith without also trying to look like Albert. You can get your Albert Schweitzer mustache here.
To be like Albert, you also need to like cats (and dogs—I’m not going to lose this vote over a cat vs. dog fight) and drink coffee (It’s almost like Tim Schenck is the reincarnation of Albert, maybe we can get Tim to grow a mustache if Albert wins). [editor's note: he can't and won't]
To be like Albert, you should also dress like Albert, while you spend Albert money on the poor.
And while you are dressed like Albert and look like Albert and pray like Albert, you should care for the world like Albert, because the most important gift Albert left the world was love. He knew that if you sprinkled that care, compassion, intentional faith, walking in service to others in dark and ugly places, that’s where you will find true happiness…and consequently, where you find God as well.
— Anna Fitch Courie
66 comments on “Albert Schweitzer vs. Cornelius the Centurion”
I’m really torn. The Cornelius kitsch was fabulous but I have Albert on my bracket. Still, the Albert mustache was a stroke of genius!
Albert Schweitzer was more than a great Christian, he was one of the greatest human beings of any creed throughout history.
If this round stood alone, I would have voted for Cornelius and his marvelous kitsch ... but alas, I can't ignore all that Albert did during his life, so I have to vote for him.
The saints from earlier times seldom "make it" with the LM crowd, so I'm offering Cornelius a vote. Plus GREAT kitsch from Laurie Brock.
This is a tough one. My father was a doctor and loved Bach. On the other hand, he didn‘t like cats, because their paws are full of needles. On the other other hand, I have a streak going of voting against Cornelius. So I‘m going with Albert Schweitzer.
Great kitsch for both, but the wonderful variety of Albert kitsch won my vote today. Plus, it looks as if the dog really adored him, and dogs are excellent judges of character.
I truly have embodied Albert in my career! I worked in primary care in the Bronx, have volunteered with an NGO in Malawi Africa and continue to pay it forward in time, talent and treasure. Sprinkles of love along the way! Thank you Albert for being a role model for this MD.
The user site for voting for me on apple ipad
I believe it was either Noel Coward or George Bernard Shaw who quipped “life is too important to take seriously”. In that vein, thank you Laurie & Anna. Albert’s mug quote, and the mustache swept me away today (even though the centurion duvet was enticing:)
Cornelius has much better kitch! Aside from that we share a birthday, so I had to vote for him, even though I know Schweitzer is the more meritorious!
What? No links to where you can buy recordings of Schweitzer's many musical recordings? He was a world-class organist.
Well, the two cats beside me are lobbying for their buddy Albert, but as an underdog-lover I went with Cornelius. Maybe I can buy the cats' votes with their very own centurion costumes -- not!
Happy with either result today. There are good arguments both for favoring biblical over modern candidates, and vice versa. If not for the witness of Cornelius, Lent Madness wouldn't exist. But Schweitzer, despite human quirks and flaws, is a great and needed role model for today.
I was in tears by the end of these writeups. Lots of chuckles with Cornelius persisting through most of Albert, then tears through my laughter. The love we leave behind...
Another tough choice (no surprise) but I just had to go with Albert because of his concern for others.
Cornelius has the best kitsch, and I was going to vote for it (the kitsch, not Cornelius). I found calling Cornelius a “servant of Jesus” a stretch, btw. Albert’s kitsch couldn’t hold a candle (I’m pretty sure that mustache belongs to Albert—-Einstein!). But that very last quote cinched it for me: “The only thing of importance, when we depart, will be the traces of love we have left behind.”
Oh, wow, well done Anna and Laurie! Laurie almost had me at "debauchery," but I went with the cynical (I mean practical and savvy) effort to thread the cat/dog needle. (Now thread the Android/iPhone needle!) I am somewhat torn over a vote for Schweitzer, because he never learned any native African languages, which seems paternalistic. Nevertheless, he studied with the great French organist Widor! and that seems pretty cool. It makes me wonder what musical instrument a Roman centurion might have played.
What an IMPOSSIBLE choice!!! How could you??!! I liked the cushely bear toy (is it a bear - I was laughing so hard there were tears in my eyes) so my vote went to Cornelius. Plus I like the story of the sheet that includes everything and everyone - a virtual smorgasbord of goodness. But Albert and his mustache are truly in my heart.
I agree, on behalf of the dogs and cats, I vote for Albert.
I almost voted for the centurion teddy bear
I voted for Cornelius last round but the picture of Albert and his dog and his quotes about love have swayed my vote. Dogs (and cats) make life better.
This is tough. I grew up in Kansas in the Dodge City western half of the state, watched Gunsmoke as a kid, and I LOVE that centurion Teddy bear . . . but then, there's Albert Schweitzer quoted on cats in French, faithful dog at his side, talking about love . . .
I figure Cornelius will not win, but I am voting for him anyway.
Maybe for the wrong reason, but once yo mentioned Dodge City, and Marshall Dillon and Chester and Miss Kitty. WELL, I had to. Who knows? Maybe Miss Kitty went there adn had a flash, and changed from being a madam? (And it was decades before I had figured THAT career choice out!)
Albert has my vote: he loved JS Bach!
Great write ups - both of the bloggers. I’d favor Corny because I dig his kitsch. But Albie is a doer. He really put faith in action so I’m sticking with the good doctor.
Well done Laurie and Anna. You have both risen to the task of promoting the saintly kitsch for your saints. I guffawed over the Cornelius duvet and the centurion Easter helmet-bonnet. But “la musique et les chats” won it for me. Go Albert.
I had to vote for Albert after I saw the mustache, even if it belonged to Albert Einstein. I always enjoy the saintly kitsch. Last year, I bought an icon of our golden halo winner, Jonathan Myrick Daniels. For Christmas, my daughter bought me the Bach mug (https://www.amazon.com/Funny-Classical-Music-Coffee-Mug/dp/B08T15BJW3?th=1) that was featured in the kitsch part. It always makes me feel better drinking my tea in that mug.
You got me at the bobblehead
Initially I went with the first Gentile Christian (unless you count the Ethiopian eunich baptized by Phillip), but anybody who could be a missionary simultaneously for our Lord and for J S Bach
has to get a ton of KUDOS
Indeed, this is who I desire to be when I grew up to embody Albert Schweitzer’s quest for Jesus…….,
“To be like Albert, you should also dress like Albert, while you spend Albert money on the poor.
And while you are dressed like Albert and look like Albert and pray like Albert, you should care for the world like Albert, because the most important gift Albert left the world was love. He knew that if you sprinkled that care, compassion, intentional faith, walking in service to others in dark and ugly places, that’s where you will find true happiness…and consequently, where you find God as well.”
Without God using Cornelius to open Christianity to gentiles would Albert have heard the Gospel?
And if anyone is wondering the Albert Schweitzer quote in Italian on the postcard says, "There are two ways to forget the hassles of life: music and cats."