Congratulations! You've stuck with Lent Madness as a Lenten devotion and the field has been whittled down from 32 saints to eight. After a long and winding road, we have made it to the Round of the Elate Eight. There is now light at the end of the Golden Halo and by the end of the week we’ll be down to the Faithful Four.
We begin this round with an epic battle of Biblical proportions as Peter faces Esther. To make it this far, Peter defeated Paul and John the Evangelist while Esther got past Lazarus of Bethany and Michael the Archangel. The remaining matchups in this round are Phocas the Gardener vs. Richard Hooker, Martin de Porres vs. Maria Skobtsova, and Anna Alexander vs. Eglantyne Jebb. One of these eight will win the 2018 Golden Halo.
The Elate Eight is also known as the Saintly Kitsch round. After basic biographies, quotes and quirks, what else could there be? There are always some folks who take offense to this approach — we call them Kitsch Kranks. Tim and Scott discussed this in yesterday's edition of Monday Madness. This is not to belittle or demean our saintly heroes but to have some fun and gaze in wide wonder at the breadth of devotional practice. So kindly relax and enjoy the spirit of the Madness as we push ever onward to our goal.
Peter
In his afterlife, St. Peter is perhaps best known for his important work guarding the gates of heaven. It’s a tough job, and who better than a repentant sinner to welcome the rest of us, in our varying degrees of holiness? Here he is looking down upon St. Ita (left) and (right) singing a duet with popstar Amy Winehouse, who died of a drug overdose in 2011.
Jokes starring St. Peter often make fun of--or laud--certain professions. Here’s one knocking mine:
A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy wearing a leather jacket, and jeans.
Saint Peter asks, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?"
The guy replies, "I’m Joe, taxi driver, New York City native."
St. Peter consults his list, smiles, and says to the taxi driver, "Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven."
The taxi driver goes into Heaven, and it’s the minister’s turn.
He stands proudly and booms out, "I am Joseph Snow, pastor of Calvary Church.”
St Peter consults his list. "Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven."
"Just a minute," says the minister. "That man was a taxi driver, and he gets a silken robe and golden staff? How can this be?!"
"Up here, we work by results," says Saint Peter. "While you preached, people slept; while he drove, people prayed."
As a minister myself, if I get in, I expect I’ll be wearing cotton in the kingdom.
If you’re worried whether Peter will open the gates for you, try this work around: A key with the Rock of the Church’s saintly image on it. The pendant is sure to function just like a retina scan and send those gates swinging wide! (How much security can there really be up there, anyway?)
You could also try some ‘Success’ scented essential oils, named after Peter because people pray to him to remove obstacles. But buyer beware: Peter’s version of success involves getting crucified upside down, then fast-tracked to heaven.
You might also start pleading your case early with this personalized St. Peter stationary. Conversely, if you’re a prankster, you might order the paper printed with Peter’s address and send threatening letters to people who--in your humble opinion--need to shape up in order to pass through the Pearly Gates.
Of course, the veneration of Peter goes well beyond our self-serving concerns about who will be allowed into God’s Kingdom. People admire him for his good works and
guidance of the early church. Genuine fans of Peter can purchase saintly statues on Amazon, but again beware of Etsy, where a search for St. Peter might turn up this votive candle featuring the dubiously sainted Evan Peters, star of the show American Horror Story and available for purchase online.
The most devout of Peter fans might choose to honor his inverted crucifixion by wearing an upside down cross or this feminine fitted tee that simply screams, “Yes, I have a trim waist and want to show of my Michelle 
Obama arms, but I love me some St. Peter!”
Personally, I’ll be buying myself and the Rev. David Sibley matching Sts. Peter and Paul shirts to commemorate this year’s bracket. David, did you want to show off your guns, or shall I buy you the man tee?
Esther
The hard part about being a super-secret, Sydney-Bristow-spy-saint is that the kitsch you have is so secret as to be hard to detect.
However, my Lenten compadres, this should not suggest to you that Queen Esther is without swag. By no means! Just that you need to know where and how to look.
For starters, cast thine eyes upon this figurine of Saint Esther. This is a prop from a play about a Hispanic family in 
New Mexico, that discovers they are descended from the conversos who fled Spain during the Inquisition. Seen one way, the image of Saint Esther. Flipped upside down, you can see the figures of the Israelites crossing the Red Sea through the parted waters at the hand of Moses—hidden in plain sight.
Esther, please recall, is all about the power of holding onto your God-given identity, even when everything in the world would have you abandon it. This is a powerful message, and speaks to us even today. Yea, and behold, even if humans were silent, the very vegetables would cry aloud this message, for Esther’s tale was retold by the redoubtable bards of Veggie Tales (please ignore the creepiness of their lack of arms or hands, and how they yet manage to manipulate objects.) If you have a spare 40 minutes in your life, it’s all on YouTube.
My personal favorite retelling of Esther’s story, however, is by BimBam, which will having you chanting “GO ESTHER! GO ESTHER!” If you want something more advanced, Joan Collins made a movie about Esther. Yes, THAT Joan Collins, darling. Come for the guys in hats playing bongos, stay for Haman on drugs!
Maybe that is not enough for you, however. Perhaps you need a tangible reminder to be your true, God-given self
at all times. In which case, might I direct your gaze upon this selection of tiaras? Indeed, the internet is such a wonderful place that it has given to us a Tiara Town, where one can purchase not only a tiara to remind yourself to always be the self God wants you to be, but matching tiaras for all your pets.
Finally, we all know it takes courage, persistence, and stamina to resist unjust regimes. It is not easy, and it is not a quick fix. So, in all seriousness, I think Esther would be all about the Southern Poverty Law Center right now. With hate crimes seeing a meteoric rise across the country, their work in identifying and stopping hate groups in the United States is more needed than ever. After white supremacists murdered a woman in Charlottesville over the summer, they have redoubled their efforts, releasing this list of ten ways you, like Esther, can fight hatred where you are.
All of us have a role to play—whether we choose to wear a tiara or just to watch that insane Joan Collins movie on repeat. God calls on each one of us to make this a more just and loving world, as Esther tried to.
[poll id="229"]
234 comments on “Peter vs. Esther”
In round one I posted a collect I wrote in early2017 that Esther inspired. And one of my favorite lines in the Bible is found in II Peter 3:16. And I love the work of the Southern Poverty Law Center (been there, recommend a visit, you'll find it one block uphill from King Memorial Dexter Avenue Baptist Church [yes re-named for their former pastor, MLK] in Montgomery, Alabama). And I was born the day after the Feast of Saints Peter & Paul for whom our National Cathedral is named and yes, I like it when my birthday falls on a Monday. 😉
Decisions, decisions, decisions.
Guess I'll go with Esther since Amber mistook Jesus for Peter in the Icon of Saint Ita.
I missed that collect first time around. Beautiful!
Thanks Susan.
An impossible choice! However, since this is kitsch day Veggie Tales wins my vote. Esther it is and probably would have been even without the veggies - we do indeed need her spunk and courage to counter all the prejudice and hate that are so rampant today.
GO ESTHER!
The CEO of a medical insurance company was pleased when Saint Peter met him at the Pearly Gates and let him in. However , as he walked through the gate, Saint Peter said," Your stay has been approved for three days."
I voted for Esther.
With Esther asking the king for a second day of slaughter, I can’t vote for her. Besides, Peter stands for all of us who have fallen short, yet have been forgiven and gone on to do better.
That cartoon of Peter crooning with Amy Winehouse in heaven almost changed my mind...but, no, I'm sticking with good Queen Ester, who has always been one of my top biblical role models.
Her story....wow! Exiled from her culture, her people, her family, her home, living among strangers who despised her tribe, no doubt in a harem of the Persian King's other wives or concubines. And, yet, having the fortitude to remain silent, hidden, until the day her people really needed her. And, then, coming forward to risk the wrath of her murderous tyrant of a "husband." Just "wow!"
Me thinks we're in for a close one today! Esther for me and I don't know how this fine gem missed the kitsch line-up: http://a.co/ii6xnYh
Worth the click! lol
yes indeed — thanks
OK... I confess that you had me at the tiaras! Esther, it is for me, today!
Esther put her neck on the line, so to speak, to save her people. That is pretty awe-inspiring. However PETER was martyred for the faith. I have to vote for Peter, who was more "real" in his lifetime, with his boundless enthusiasm and zeal mixed with doubt and fear. And in death, he felt he wasn't worthy to die in the exact same manner as Jesus....
Both of these kitsch columns had me laughing hysterically, so it was really hard to choose. In the end, I went with Esther, because of who she was and what she did. Also, girl power!!
Megan's write-up swayed me as did Dianne's reference to 'outrageous courage.' Would we were all so courageous in the presence of God-less challenges!
Esther, today. But I am dismayed by the silliness.
Invoking the SPLC did it for me, too. They would prevent a present-day Esther from slaughtering her enemies. Continuing the vendetta leads nowhere. Therefore, go Esther.
Esther! Esther! Esther! But it looks like it might be a squeaker!
I have been the victim of feminine wiles in my day, so Peter gets my vote almost by default. Besides, he was the inspiration for one of the most dramatic piece of church architecture--Rome's St. Peter's--that always brings wonder and joy to me.
I've been a victim of masculine wiles.....that never once entered into my feelings towards Peter.....Esther is a hero in her own right. Are you really that fragile that a bad relationship will sour you on the most noble woman of God who saved her people by her courage???
Men!
Pete’s a beast. Yayayayayayaya!!
Esther Rocks! She had extraordinary courage and passion for her people.
Esther is my girl today. we are certainly in an era where it 'takes courage, persistence, and stamina to resist in unjust regime (administration). So...I'll take my tiara to remind me to strive to be the person God calls me to be along with Esther. P.S. I'm a bit jealous of Peter's cache of trinkets!)
I love all the kitsch! Bring it on! For fun, here's a page from a multicultural costuming website about how to look like Esther. Go, Queen Esther!
http://takebackhalloween.org/esther/
Oh, that one is fabulous! Love the peacock feather fan! I want!
I had to vote for Esther, but I was sure this was going to be her last gasp. I can't believe the race is neck and neck! Yay!
I'm surprised Peter is trailing by a slim margin (as of 11:53 MDT). I've always been rather fond of the guy who always said the wrong thing at the wrong time and ended up being the rock on which blahblahblah anyway.
By the way (BTW in cyperspeak), I always sleep through the kitsch rounds. The last thing I need in my life is kitsch.
Thanks for the "(BTW in cyperspeak)". That made my day.
I don't understand why this is so close. Peter gave up everything to follow, whereas it took Uncle Mordi reminding Esther that she could lose everything if she didn't take action. Esther did stand up to a king, but Peter stood up to an Empire. Esther put her life on the line, but Peter gave his life. Esther saved a race, but Peter saved not just the Jews but the Gentiles too. Nothing against Esther, but she doesn't compare to Peter in my mind.
Guy who denied Jesus vs. Esther. Not so hard to understand to me...... no offense by the way.
And who hasn't denied Jesus one way or another ?
Sister Mary Winifred, Agreed!!!!
I voted for Peter because he reminds me that I can be human and a bit stupid at times and still be a good friend to Jesus.
Nicely put.
Perhaps for a time such as this you were born...
Yes!
This is my first from-the-first-day Lent Madness experience and I was happily surprised with this kitsch round. (It helped that I watched yesterday's Monday Madness so I was prepared for the silliness.) What fun to read! Celebrity Bloggers, you rock!
Go Esther!
The BimBam video convinced me to go with Esther-"always stand up for what you believe in!"
I was ready to go for Esther, but earlier comments lead me to actually read her entire Book, and wow - that aftermath of turn-about slaughter is seriously disturbing.
It reminds me of the scene in "Becket" where Thomas Becket and a young Saxon monk are in the cathedral knowing death is on its way:
Brother John - "I don't much care if I am just a grain of sand in a machine. Because I know by putting more and more grains of sand in a machine, one day it'll come grinding to a stop."
Becket - "And on that day, what then?"
Brother John - "Well, we'll have a fine, new, well-oiled machine in place of the old one. And this time we'll put the Normans into it instead. That's what justice means, doesn't it?"
It's not even clear from the text whether the Jews went after people who *had* hurt them or who just *might* have hurt them given the opportunity. Then there's this: "And many of the people of the land became Jews; for the fear of the Jews fell upon them." What does THAT remind you of?
Peter for me!
But GREAT kitsch for both, bloggers!
Good reference with Becket. Sadly, much harm has been done in the name of Peter and his successors as well.
Is Peter going to demand a recount?
I'm still bummed Paul was a "one and done" this year! 🙂
Peter. And this should not be close.
Still had to go for Peter, but a huge shoutout to Megan Castellan for the SPLC link!
Uh huh!
A I was wading through the kitsch in the midafternoon today (I came late to the Madness), it gradually grew on me that there's a lot of unfinished business here on earth, for which Esther is a great inspiration. Peter can support us in our journey, but Esther rolls up her sleeves and works alongside her. That tipped the scale in my mind by little more than a(n ordinary) feather's weight. Esther, go up higher!