Congratulations! You've stuck with Lent Madness as a Lenten devotion and the field has been whittled down from 32 saints to eight. After a long and winding road, we have made it to the Round of the Elate Eight. There is now light at the end of the Golden Halo and by the end of the week we’ll be down to the Faithful Four.
We begin this round with an epic battle of Biblical proportions as Peter faces Esther. To make it this far, Peter defeated Paul and John the Evangelist while Esther got past Lazarus of Bethany and Michael the Archangel. The remaining matchups in this round are Phocas the Gardener vs. Richard Hooker, Martin de Porres vs. Maria Skobtsova, and Anna Alexander vs. Eglantyne Jebb. One of these eight will win the 2018 Golden Halo.
The Elate Eight is also known as the Saintly Kitsch round. After basic biographies, quotes and quirks, what else could there be? There are always some folks who take offense to this approach — we call them Kitsch Kranks. Tim and Scott discussed this in yesterday's edition of Monday Madness. This is not to belittle or demean our saintly heroes but to have some fun and gaze in wide wonder at the breadth of devotional practice. So kindly relax and enjoy the spirit of the Madness as we push ever onward to our goal.
Peter
In his afterlife, St. Peter is perhaps best known for his important work guarding the gates of heaven. It’s a tough job, and who better than a repentant sinner to welcome the rest of us, in our varying degrees of holiness? Here he is looking down upon St. Ita (left) and (right) singing a duet with popstar Amy Winehouse, who died of a drug overdose in 2011.
Jokes starring St. Peter often make fun of--or laud--certain professions. Here’s one knocking mine:
A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy wearing a leather jacket, and jeans.
Saint Peter asks, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?"
The guy replies, "I’m Joe, taxi driver, New York City native."
St. Peter consults his list, smiles, and says to the taxi driver, "Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven."
The taxi driver goes into Heaven, and it’s the minister’s turn.
He stands proudly and booms out, "I am Joseph Snow, pastor of Calvary Church.”
St Peter consults his list. "Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven."
"Just a minute," says the minister. "That man was a taxi driver, and he gets a silken robe and golden staff? How can this be?!"
"Up here, we work by results," says Saint Peter. "While you preached, people slept; while he drove, people prayed."
As a minister myself, if I get in, I expect I’ll be wearing cotton in the kingdom.
If you’re worried whether Peter will open the gates for you, try this work around: A key with the Rock of the Church’s saintly image on it. The pendant is sure to function just like a retina scan and send those gates swinging wide! (How much security can there really be up there, anyway?)
You could also try some ‘Success’ scented essential oils, named after Peter because people pray to him to remove obstacles. But buyer beware: Peter’s version of success involves getting crucified upside down, then fast-tracked to heaven.
You might also start pleading your case early with this personalized St. Peter stationary. Conversely, if you’re a prankster, you might order the paper printed with Peter’s address and send threatening letters to people who--in your humble opinion--need to shape up in order to pass through the Pearly Gates.
Of course, the veneration of Peter goes well beyond our self-serving concerns about who will be allowed into God’s Kingdom. People admire him for his good works and
guidance of the early church. Genuine fans of Peter can purchase saintly statues on Amazon, but again beware of Etsy, where a search for St. Peter might turn up this votive candle featuring the dubiously sainted Evan Peters, star of the show American Horror Story and available for purchase online.
The most devout of Peter fans might choose to honor his inverted crucifixion by wearing an upside down cross or this feminine fitted tee that simply screams, “Yes, I have a trim waist and want to show of my Michelle 
Obama arms, but I love me some St. Peter!”
Personally, I’ll be buying myself and the Rev. David Sibley matching Sts. Peter and Paul shirts to commemorate this year’s bracket. David, did you want to show off your guns, or shall I buy you the man tee?
Esther
The hard part about being a super-secret, Sydney-Bristow-spy-saint is that the kitsch you have is so secret as to be hard to detect.
However, my Lenten compadres, this should not suggest to you that Queen Esther is without swag. By no means! Just that you need to know where and how to look.
For starters, cast thine eyes upon this figurine of Saint Esther. This is a prop from a play about a Hispanic family in 
New Mexico, that discovers they are descended from the conversos who fled Spain during the Inquisition. Seen one way, the image of Saint Esther. Flipped upside down, you can see the figures of the Israelites crossing the Red Sea through the parted waters at the hand of Moses—hidden in plain sight.
Esther, please recall, is all about the power of holding onto your God-given identity, even when everything in the world would have you abandon it. This is a powerful message, and speaks to us even today. Yea, and behold, even if humans were silent, the very vegetables would cry aloud this message, for Esther’s tale was retold by the redoubtable bards of Veggie Tales (please ignore the creepiness of their lack of arms or hands, and how they yet manage to manipulate objects.) If you have a spare 40 minutes in your life, it’s all on YouTube.
My personal favorite retelling of Esther’s story, however, is by BimBam, which will having you chanting “GO ESTHER! GO ESTHER!” If you want something more advanced, Joan Collins made a movie about Esther. Yes, THAT Joan Collins, darling. Come for the guys in hats playing bongos, stay for Haman on drugs!
Maybe that is not enough for you, however. Perhaps you need a tangible reminder to be your true, God-given self
at all times. In which case, might I direct your gaze upon this selection of tiaras? Indeed, the internet is such a wonderful place that it has given to us a Tiara Town, where one can purchase not only a tiara to remind yourself to always be the self God wants you to be, but matching tiaras for all your pets.
Finally, we all know it takes courage, persistence, and stamina to resist unjust regimes. It is not easy, and it is not a quick fix. So, in all seriousness, I think Esther would be all about the Southern Poverty Law Center right now. With hate crimes seeing a meteoric rise across the country, their work in identifying and stopping hate groups in the United States is more needed than ever. After white supremacists murdered a woman in Charlottesville over the summer, they have redoubled their efforts, releasing this list of ten ways you, like Esther, can fight hatred where you are.
All of us have a role to play—whether we choose to wear a tiara or just to watch that insane Joan Collins movie on repeat. God calls on each one of us to make this a more just and loving world, as Esther tried to.
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234 comments on “Peter vs. Esther”
Well, today's writers have discovered a treasure trove of kitsch that outdoes any I've seen in the past. I was almost tempted to shell out some big bucks but remembered that I should be gathering ducats for my church pledge, not t-shirts or candles or CDs. Although Esther is indeed a role model for women and for those in danger of losing their lives, it was Peter who denied Christ three times. If the the truth be known, many of us are guilty of this grievous sin and must repent ad infinitum. Yet Peter is the rock as we who observe Holy Week seek to be more like him and love and serve our Lord as he faces the Cross where he will shortly in pain and agony. Lord, have mercy on us sinners.
Goodness, this was the hardest yet for me! I love both these saints, but ultimately went with Esther because she stood up to power at great personal risk (plus I liked the bim bam video and simply have to find that Joan Collins movie!). I hope that I could show as much courage as Esther if I needed to, but fear I'd behave as Peter did instead. The will toward self-preservation is strong...
Wow! A dead hear so far (10 am ET). How exciting!!!
Courage, Persistence, Stamina: A Saint we need to emulate in these times. Vote Esther!
I love me some Veggie Tales, but Esther's episode was, in my opinion, the worst. The Silly Song made me cringe! It is because of that cringing that I couldn't vote for her. If that video hadn't been referenced, I would have been an Esther champ...sorry!
Oh my! Who says your vote doesnt matter. I momentarily broke the tie! I loved the Esther video ( Go Esther, Go Esther) and the tiara shop links, but my heart was so touched by Amy and Peter rockin it at the Pearly Gates. As a person in recovery from addiction myself, and having lost friends and family to that awful disease, I cannot help but be drawn to the picture of mercy exhibited by the gates of heaven being opened to one of my own tribe. Such a surprising "icon" to ponder today. I need a copy of this for myself. Blessings
Am I the only one who is just kinda tired of Peter? Peter this. Peter that. Peter here. Peter there. Peter, Peter, everywhere. For God's sake, give somebody else a chance for a change. Go Esther!
C'mon, Esther!!! I have always loved my namesake for her incredible courage and love of her family and people. And I'm a wee bit sad that her kitsch didn't include the many awesome Esther halloween costumes out there. ESTHER FOR GOLDEN HALO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I do love the Peter and Amy icon, though. Go Amy! Go Esther!
I've always gotten a kick out of the classic image of Peter like a cosmic bouncer, standing outside the gate of heaven to decide who gets in. Because if you read the description in Revelation 21, there are 11 more gates, all standing wide open! I imagine some people might get there and be surprised at all the people who have managed to get in through one of those side doors, without even standing in line and having their credentials checked! All you have to do is leave behind your dirty laundry and falsehood...
Peter has his Basilica and the keys to Heaven - he doesn't need the golden halo too! Esther all the way for me, because she's inspired peoples of two faiths to courage.
The vote is still tied and I am still undecided.
But I think it will be Esther for me. For her courage. Sorry Rocky, you know I love you.
tough choice today - both are names we gave our kids! I love both of them (yes, my kids, but also both the saints) . . . even though Queen Esther is my very favorite Veggie Tales episode (I often said to my Esther - "my little queenie-poo can visit me whenever she wants to!"), I voted for Peter because he blew it so royally that everyone since has known the intimate details of his mess-ups, and yet was forgiven by Jesus, forgave himself, stepped out in faith again and again, and has been ever since an inspiration for all of us who have foot-in-mouth disease 🙂 Whether or not he sings duets with us at the pearly gates remains to be seen, but what fun that would be!
I was all Team Peter before reading that last paragraph on Esther. Well done, Megan Castellan!
Esther gets my vote. I actually really liked that figurine.
Peter has better merch but Esther and her bravery in saving her unfairly targeted people wins the day with me.
I like Peter because he guards my heavens. But, this is all pointless because in the end, they are both important. I like both stories. Keep up the good work.
Correction: while Amy Winehouse battled with drug addition, she died of alcohol poisoning.
I can picture Amy & Esther belting out the tunes in heaven.
Esther.
"...belting out the tunes in heaven..." in harmony, of course.
OK, it's Esther.
Gotta go with someone who promotes the use of natural, breathable fiber. Woe to those who use polyester vestments.
Especially impressed with Esther’s link to Southern Poverty Law Center, thank you!!!
Saint Peter all the way!
Had to vote for Esther!
(I was disappointed to see the Southern Poverty Law Center touted as a go-to place to find ideas on how to fight hatred.) Too political for me, especially in this context....
Politics does weave in and out of (our beloved optional) Lent Madness (which I would never attempt to reinvent). With all due respect to all bloggers, commenters, and saints, I do think Jesus has the best list of ways to combat hatred:1) love God first and foremost, and 2) love your neighbor as yourself. He even explains how to recognize a neighbor.
Well put, Peg!
I agree-very well put!
I’ve always had a problem with Peter and his conflict with Paul regarding Gentiles & the Mosaic Law.
However, I’ve always admired Queen Esther and her courage. No waffling from her, no denials to save her skin. Yes, Peter redeemed himself after his initial triple denial, and I understand those who see him as the Saint of Second Chances. But Esther never needed a second chance! If we are saved not only by works but by faith, isn’t Esther a better example of faith?
This selection is an easy one for me: Queen Esther!
Holding onto your G0d-given identity and working to overthrow injustice. I love Peter and his work with the Gentiles. I love his imperfectness - I relate. And he died for Christ, no question that is a super big deal. But I have always loved Esther, and she has my heart.
Still traumatised by my one exposure to veggie tales, I vote for Peter. Also slightly troubled by the linking of Esther to fighting for justice, when her book records the retaliation that saw over 75,000 killed when those who had been persecuted turned on their oppressors.
My vote is for Amber and Megan, who both did a killer job finding kitsch for this round. Special kudos for the Esther figurine and for the wry reference to trim waists and Michelle Obama arms, a difficult combination for mortals to achieve. I'm going to fast track myself to a cup of coffee.
This is going to be a tight race! I more or less tossed a coin on this one.
The "contest" is about saints and the life of faith. The canonical book of Esther never in fact mentions God --- though the additions to Esther in the Apocrypha specifically add in prayers by her... so I find it kind of surprising that the voting is so close. Are we in such an 'angry' time... that fighting and retribution are really the criteria we're advocating? Gives me pause as we come up on Holy Week.... when Jesus told Peter specifically to put down his sword when he was going to go after their opponents in the garden....
I voted for Megan—I mean Esther. It was the tiaras that did it. That and the 10 ways to fight hatred where you are.
Would that all of you had the touch of Baptist theology that sees Christ's death as Gods way of allowing all of us who believe in Jesus to enter heaven. Peter just holds the gates open.
Faith, Thank you for joining the conversation, and for sharing your faith.
Did you vote? Hope so!
In Christ,
Cynthia
I don't care about kitsch or jokes. Esther is my choice!