What a week! With one more battle to go, we will have set the stage for the Faithful Four as the march to the Golden Halo continues. Today, Dietrich Bonhoeffer and Columba vie for the final spot as they seek to join Constance, Sojourner Truth, and Julian of Norwich.
To make it to this point, Bonhoeffer defeated Athanasius and Barnabas while Columba got past Kateri Tekakwitha and Meister Eckhart.
Yesterday Julian of Norwich skated past Albert Schweitzer 68% to 32. And in 24 hours, we bid adieu to saintly kitsch. We only encountered a few Kitsch Kranks this year and for that, we're grateful.
The Faithful Four will take place on Monday and Tuesday with the vote for the Golden Halo happening on Spy Wednesday. Onward, Lenten Soldiers!
Columba
Of course, the most famous of all St. Columba artifacts would have to be the abbey at Iona, which still exists today. Visitors from all over the world journey to the abbey for retreats and spiritual renewal. The community at Iona continues to transform the Christian world to this day.
However, one could hardly call such a worthy endeavor mere kitsch, and kitsch is what this round is all about. Therefore, let us now, with one accord, turn our attention towards the less serious items of St. Columba’s lore.
First off, if you are in the mood to pretend you actually are St. Columba, wandering hither and yon through the Scottish countryside, you are in luck. There is a CD which purports to contain the sounds of ancient Celtic Christianity, and also features the most disturbing cover image ever! I direct you to “In Praise of St. Columba: The Sound World of Celtic Christianity.” GAZE UPON THAT MASK AND DESPAIR.
Further, to really establish your identity as the bookish saint, there is this lovely mug, with which you can subtly taunt those who would attempt to countermand your decisions regarding poets or copyright dis
putes. Wave your hot beverage of choice; you got this.
Now, because copying manuscripts by hand is no longer required in this day of technology, you will surely busy yourself playing that most intelligent of card games: Magic: the Gathering. So you are going to need this Iona card. Because this exists. That’s right--for the enormous overlapping population of those devoted to Celtic monasticism and those devoted to role-playing card games.
But maybe this isn’t enough for you. Maybe, in your slavish kitschish devotion to the Celtic saint, you desire more challenges. Then, might I suggest you undertake as well Columba’s greatest feat? You’re going to need to face the Loch Ness monster.
But not all at once; no. You will need to work in stages. First, order one of these Loch Ness monster soup ladles for your kitchen.
Practice your stirring defenses of our Lord Jesus to it. 
Then, read up on how others have done it. Might I suggest this vintage copy of Dr. Who and the Loch Ness Monster? As Columba teaches, one can never do enough reading.
Finally, you are ready. Take a trip down to Busch Gardens, Williamsburg, and ride the Loch Ness Monster roller coaster. As you approach speeds of 60 mph, plunging down towards Nessie’s home in the lake, scream out your best admonitions to godly behavior to the deep.
And then, as you stumble off the coaster, dazed and confused, and avoiding the other creeped-out patrons who are now calling security, you will feel a sense of peace which passes all understanding For you have completed the Pilgrimage of Columba Kitsch.
Dietrich Bonhoeffer
When German theologian Dietrich Bonhoeffer (born in 1906) was a teenager, a new word was coined in German….kitschen, meaning “to throw together a work of art.” This quickly evolved into the English word “kitsch,” a noun meaning “something of tawdry design, appearance, or content created to appeal to popular or undiscriminating taste.”
Kitsch? Bonhoeffer? How can we even think of putting such a distinguished theologian in the same sentence as this often disdainful word?
But, if you are a fan of Bonhoeffer, hoping, praying, and voting that he will be awarded the coveted Lent Madness Golden Halo, you may launch your very own collection of Bonhoeffer kitsch before this 2016 Lent Madness bracket is completed!
Let’s begin your collection with items you might wear, such as Bonhoeffer-emblazoned shirts & hats:
Or, perhaps Bonhoeffer “cheap grace” pajamas (don’t go there…) are more your style for remembering him in the privacy of your own home:
And, my personal favorite, allows you to start your child or grandchild off on his or her spiritual path with the Bonhoeffer Baby Bib (available with blue, pink or gender-neutral green trim):
(you can’t make this up, folks!)
Of course, since Bonhoeffer was Lutheran and Lutherans are famous for that third sacrament, coffee, your collection must include a coffee mug or two:
These items (and more!) are readily found at online stores CafePress and Zazzle.
But, if you want to get a jump on Dietrich Bonhoeffer with his golden halo already well in place, the good people at Trinitystores.com gave me permission to share with you that they have a fine array of icons as well as candles, notecards and other gift items for your collection featuring the iconography of Lewis Williams.
Who said that beauty is in the eye of the beholder? Well, my Google search indicates that there is some dispute about this. Whoever said it, this opportunity for you to enhance your home or office with your very own collection of Bonhoeffer memorabilia, some serious and some not so serious, certainly proves the point!
In Dietrich Bonhoeffer: A Biography authors Eberhard Bethge & Victoria J. Barnett report that Paul Lehmann, who knew Bonhoeffer in the 1930’s at Union Theological Seminary reported of him “His aristocracy was unmistakable yet not obtrusive, chiefly, I think owing to his boundless curiosity about every new environment in which he found himself and to his irresistible and unfailing sense of humor.” I’m so glad he had an unfailing sense of humor with all of this Bonhoeffer kitsch available for purchase!
The most important point is that while we can chuckle over this memorabilia, we remember Bonhoeffer as a martyred theologian with much to say to us about being faithful Christians in these often challenging 21st century days!
[poll id="166"]
146 comments on “Columba vs. Dietrich Bonhoeffer”
Bonhoeffer mit Kaffee, bitte.
To Susan - Ja, danke. Bonhoeffer fur goldene Glorienschein!
Columba won me over.
Bonhoeffer rocks!
I don't like this kitsch stuff at all
I'm glad someone agrees with me. See below.
It's optional.
feel free to skip the Elate 8 round in future.
Or hold your nose (or shut your eyes and vote anyway. Pity to disenfranchise oneself over a technical disagreement. Not that you were suggesting that.
Why do I always forget the closing parenthesis?
Perhaps for the same reason that I do. When you find out, please let me know.
Jesus did turn over tables in the Temple (if that can be termed "violence"), but that was against things, not people. And as for his whip of cords, he used that to drive the sheep and cattle from the Temple. He didn't use it on human beings.
Whatever is whipping and "turning over" angrily if not violence?
"Mama, what watch?"
"Ten watch."
"Ach, such watch!"
Yah, Bonhoeffer has many holiness. True that.
LOL!
Thank you, Aleathia, for the clarification ! I was with you til the GRACE sentence . I voted for Columba.
Visiting Iona is an incomparable experience. I hope you can go there.
Well, you may be right, Donna.
But the issue being discussed was violence against people. I feel that the example of Jesus in the Temple is not a valid justification of violence towards human beings.
I'm not sure you were even saying that.
Dear Richard, Thank you for your light touch! Very clever and fun comment! I'm voting for Columba .
St. Celia, you are truly a hoot.
Last time as I recall the Queen of Hawaii beat out Dietrich. Whom is Hawaii going for this year?
More difficult choices between two people whom I voted for in the first two rounds and whom I admire equally. I'm going with the feisty old Irish monk who had to do penance for having been less than saintly in his early life. (This has nothing to do with this being the day after St Patrick's Day.)
I (and Janene above) seem to be among the minority whose decisions are not swayed by the kitsch because I don't pay any attention to it. I vote for people, not frippery. (Please call me a nasty old curmudgeon. It's my reputation and my identity. Many of the saints out-curmudgeoned me.)
I'm with you on all counts. But Iona wins this one for me. My German name aside, my heart is Celtic.
Exactly what I was thinking.
I'm sorry, and I know it's your right to self-identify; but I just don't find you a terribly convincing curmudgeon.
Sorely tempted by the Loch Ness ladle (and will end up with one if I'm not careful), but it was the reminder of Bonhoeffer's sense of curiosity (in Bethge and Barnette, as cited by the inestimable Beth Lewis) that carried the day for me. Theologians, especially German theologians, creep me out, even when they are martyrs (a fate that very few of them suffered), but curiosity shows an awakening of the sense that no facts of this world are so mundane as to be useless as signposts on the way to God. Ps, 42:1f. BCP (1928)
Quemadmodum
Like as the hart desireth the water-brooks, so longeth my soul after thee, O God.
This is far too beautiful to be either "fact" or "mundane." I agree with you about curiosity, but the BCP seems to suggest that it is our own heart's longing that leads, and curiosity attends as a lively companion. Very nice image to contemplate.
(Or did you simply choose this passage because it had the word "mad" in the title?)
No man is an island, but one man had an island. Up until this year's Lenten Madness (my first), I thought Columba was a woman. Even though there's a St Columba's Episcopal Church in our diocese, the Lutheran has my vote. For awhile, our lifelines overlapped. I was 5 when Germany surrendered. "Why are there all these sirens, Daddy?" I asked. He said, "The war is half over." I remember feeling confused, but I couldn't put it into words. If I could have, I might have said, "What do you mean, 'half over'? Is a war some kind of game?"
Having twice cashed an anguished vote for Bonhoeffer's opponent, I'm going to vote for him today notwithstanding the monster ladle. Dietrich too made a surprisingly good showing in the kitsch class, though I thought Columba won it on points.
Columba's going DOWN
I love both so this was hard but Iona is a sacred thin place for me so Columba it is for me. I spent four of the best days of my life on Iona. It makes me peaceful just thinking about it.
I almost cast a vote for Columba solely based on the Dr. Who references but then I came to my senses and once again cast it for Dietrich. 🙂
Both holy men will be in my book of saints, the Holy Spirit, faith, mercy, Bonhoeffers map of spirit and faith, well continue through with cultic Christianity that serves me well in conjunction with Columbia and, the Holy Spirit, my faith, God's mercy, well continue to be a defender of the faith. My vote Columbia
I voted for Bonhoeffer, but, should a miracle occur and I end up in a Saintly Round of Kitsch in some distant future, I want Megan Castellan to write me up.
Wait. What? I've been voting for Detective Columbo, and just saw there's an "a" there! Doh!
Columba! He was missional before that was a thing. He's pretty much the guy who created monasteries that were for the purpose of equipping people to share the good news. His monks didn't just stay behind the Abbey walls, they studied and worked there and then went out to the rest of the british mainland to serve the gospel by serving the people.
Not to mention that repenting of violence and seeking a way of peace is a BRILLIANT example to the rest of us...
Come on, Columba! You and your holy island can do it!
Columba's legacy lives on in Scotland, and through the modern day Iona Community whose rule of life includes a commitment to the renewal of worship and to work for justice peace and the integrity of creation. Columba chose well when he chose the beautiful island of Iona. How could I not vote for Columba? (I enjoyed the Columba kitsch especially, but was disappointed to see no saltire beanie hats with Nessie emerging from the hat in sinuous loops. No Scotland match would be the same without numerous examples proudly on display.)
Oliver, I have been to Iona and it is a wonderful trip. It is Columba all the way for me.
Have been to Iona...attended services in the Abbey...it is truly a holy place...barren, rocky, and really not physically a very inviting place but it speaks of the presence of Columba and the Holy Spirit. Bonhoeffer however speaks to us in our time...his "discipleship" is not for the timid..it demands all... And that is what he gave it. Something very Christlike about him. he has my vote.
ooh, I don't think of it as barren. rolling green pastures, white sand beaches, sheep, highland cattle, lovely people...rocky in places, and bog in places, and everything in between. 🙂 Perfect place for a missionary training ground (which is what Columba started, essentially--a home base from which monks could go out).
So disappointed that my hero, Columba, is not doing so well this round. I'll be on Iona for his feast day this year and will say a quick prayer of forgiveness for all who eschewed this giant of Celtic spirituality and faith!
Excuse me — ask forgiveness for yourself when you want to or should. You do not have the privilege or permission of obligation to ask forgiveness for me or anyone else for what you perceive as sins either of omission or commission.
Umm. Joke. Laughter. Tongue in cheek? Just like Lent Madness. Deep breath now....
I quite agree. Iona is one of the special "Thin Places" of my life. I go there every year and get lost [sometimes literally!] in the magnificence and beauty of the place. And the oyster catchers. Mustn't forget them!
Columba. Abbey at Iona and the Nessie soup ladle.
No matter who wins this time--as someone commented in a previous round, the world really, really needs "Columba the Movie"!
The Nessie soup ladle got to me!
Dwight...many thanks for your compliment. LENT MADNESS has become an important part of my spiritual life...also fun-learning-keeping my temper when my favorites lose....but above all, learning about the saints and not-so-saintly who have influenced my life and the lives of others...like Oliver-8 years old who is one wise youngun' !
Tough choice. I tend to go in big for both martyrs and missionaries, and here we're pitting one against the other. Decided to go with Bonhoeffer, who decided to minister in Nazi Germany instead of getting out while he could. And FYI, you can NOT beat the Bonhoeffer bib.
Columba kitsch was fabulous and almost had me; however Bonhoeffer deserves a golden halo and the prospect of never being subjected to the kitsch round again (tho' Beth Lewis made a valiant effort). All four in the next round are exemplary, but I am rooting for Team Bonhoeffer!
In fairness to them, for Lutherans the third sacrament is absolution!